Thank You Thursday.....(stolen idea from Special K!-hope it's okay...)

Thank you Thursday you ask?  What is this silliness? 

Well, it's a day to write you are thankful for.  Duh!  j/k  Seriously, it's so weird because I was going to write a thank you note today.  To my Lord. 

Thank You Lord in no specific prioritized order....for forgiving me; for Your love; for Your salvation; for Your healing; for Your company; for Your blessings; for all that You went through on the cross-all the humiliation, pain and anguish-all for me, for us!; for being able to freely praise and worship You; for the people in our lives; for the Holy Spirit and Your guidance; for Your convicting of our hearts; for Your understanding; for Your mercy; for Your grace; for Your Word; for preparing a place for us to live with You eternally; for Your hearing and answering of our prayers; for showing us part of Your glory through the beauty of the Earth....and SO much more that I can't think of right now!

After a "good" day yesterday of not shedding a tear about my Brandy girl.  I feel guilty.  So far so good again today, but I don't know how long that will last.  I have praise team practice tonight and will be singing praises to the One Who is taking care of her and it overwhelms me.  I KNOW that Jesus has her...my amazing Mother in Law sent me a beautiful email with a vision she had of Brandy sitting at the feet of my Grandma Hall next to Jesus holding our baby.  That brings me so much comfort!  Isn't that a beautiful picture?

I do miss her tremendously.  I went to a new Dr today.  Just to renew my thyroid medications and whatnot.  I was talking to her about it and she re-iterated that it is not silly to mourn the loss of a dog and to not let anyone make me feel inferior about that.  She really comforted me.  It's amazing who the Lord uses to send His comfort!  She said (as well as many friends) that I shouldn't feel guilty or silly, and I should take my time to grieve and not hold it in.  Otherwise it will fester and grow.  I think I'm doing that...I've been on vacation this week and have been doing a lot of reminicsing about her and our times together as a family.  She's so precious. 

I remembered some more things that I miss about her.  When Mike or I would cough or sneeze, she'd come over to us to make sure we were okay.  She was so sweet.  Although, I remembered a time right after we'd moved her after we were married and we went for a walk and I tripped and fell.  She came to sniff me for like a 1/2 a second and wanted to move on to her walk! haha!  I was like, "thanks a lot!"  haha...she must have figured I was fine.  :)  I miss her "helping me get ready".  She would stand in the doorway or even in the bathroom while I was doing my make up or hair, getting ready for work (Sunday's she slept in...she somehow knew it was Sunday I think..heehee-btw-I told her about Jesus a lot....I told her we were going to learn more about Him and what He did for us.....so I think she knew Him!).....I miss her standing there in the mirror.  Sometimes I even still see or hear her walking on the tile w/her nails up to me.  She didn't like it when we left.  But once we did, I think she liked it b/c she got her beauty sleep then!  :)  She always had to "seemingly" approve what I looked like before I left.  She'd follow me to my closet....stand right there while I dressed too.  It's so weird getting ready or picking out my clothes without her there.  I look for her still to make sure I don't step on her.  Even weirder that I don't have to worry about getting "dog" hair on me while I do so.  I wear black uniforms to work and that just didn't jive with a dog at home.  It was worth it.  Mike can't stand hair...he thinks it's gross which is why she spent most of her life outside...but he also thought it was worth it once Brandy came inside (which I snuck in and I knew he'd fall in love with the idea...).  He still doesn't like it though (dog hair I mean).  It took me a few days to vacuum after she left us because I didn't want to vacuum up "memories" of her hair.  But I did.  Our floors our hairless-but not memory-less.  We remember where her favorite spots to sit are.  Last night I sat in front of our TV cabinet-to practice some music for choir...she used to come up and stand by me and look at everything in there-almost as if she was picking out something to listen to.  She LOVED music.  If I were just listening to some stuff, sitting on the floor there in front of the cabinet, she'd lay by me sometimes.   I think we trained her to like music, I dunno.  The louder the better she'd sleep!  lol  Her favorite song was "Boom Boom Pow" by the Black Eyes Peas.  One day I put that CD in and she fell asleep!  It never failed...every time we put on music or a loud action movie or something-she'd fall asleep.  We have a player piano and she loved that too.  If she were sleeping in the living room, I'd walk by the piano and just hit any key, her head would pop up.  It was funny.  At Christmas time, we have a "Clarice" stuffed animal that sings, "There's Always Tomorrow" from Rudolph the Rednosed Reindeer that we set out and when we played that...she would give Clarice kisses all over and cry.  She loved Clarice.  She never played with toys...when she was little, she'd play with a milk jug and a rock.  Until I bought her "Mr. Blue".  It's this weird looking blue thing...that squeaks.  Everytime I squeaked it, she'd cry.  Until one day, she picked him up with her mouth and walked all over and wouldn't let me have him.  She NEVER did that.  I took all sorts of pictures b/c she'd never done this before and she was about 11 years old or so at the time!  Too funny.  Every time we squeaked Mr Blue, she'd cry and give him kisses too.  She also loved to hear me sing believe it or not.  I sang, "you are my sunshine" to her all the time.  Okay...that did it.  There goes my "no crying" streak.....

Gotta go....keep on goin' on my friends!
~Aim

Brandy girl

Well this is my 2nd blog.  As you know I'm struggling with the loss of my little Brandy girl just this past Friday.  She was 14.  We always celebrated her birthday, but this year we didn't.  I feel bad.  Everytime she heard a doorbell she barked just once.  Even the one's on TV-particularly, Golden Girls and Home Improvement.  She'd come a runnin' down the hall all in a huff.  Sometimes, she'd growl a lil' bit...but not much.  In recent days, she didn't even hear them.  She's also always come trottin' when she heard our pantry door open (I have a little crafty thing hanging from the door handle and you'd think it was her dinner bell).  She wanted whatever we were snackin' on and we were usually suckers and gave in to her sweet eyes.  Every Wednesday my husband and I have "frozen pizza lunch day".  She would literally go to my "area" on the couch and wait for me to get there b/c she knew that I was going to give her my sausage or bits of crust.  She's usually go between Mike and I to see who'd fall for her sweet face first.  Once she was done "mooching" off of us...she'd head to her food bowl and eat her "foo-food" as we called it.  And drink her "wa-wa".  BTW-she would only drink it if it were fresh.  We kept 2 water bowls for her so she didn't have to walk all the way down to the other end of the house..1 in the dining room and 1 in the laundry room-well if her water wasn't "fresh enough" for her in the dining room where her food was, I kid you not she would go to the laundry room to drink that!  Just like her Mommy-she was picky.  Probably why we got along so well.  heehee  She would "smack" her lips together forever after she got done drinking and eating.  It was annoying at first, but then it got so cute.  I'd give anything to hear her do that again.  She loved car rides.  Mike used to take her in the back of his truck...but we found out that if there was anything in there but her-she jumped out.  Only happened once and Mike saw it right away.  She wasn't hurt....so no worries!  She loved to frolick outside and sniff her lil' nose around.  Butterflies drove her nuts.  She tried to eat bees.  When she was younger, we kept her outside in a dog house and pen and we would go get her and hook her up to the back deck everyday pretty much to have her near us.  If it was a hot day-she would lay underneath it.  Don't get me wrong...if it were a REALLY hot day or cold day, we'd bring her inside the laundry room in the air/heat.  She LOVED snow.  She used to roll around in it.  Actually, she loved to roll around in the grass too!  It was so stinkin' cute.  But she'd freak if we tried to rub her belly and turn her on her back.  She did not like that whatsoever!  She HATED rain.  She'd hold her potty for days rather than go out in the rain.  How dare she get her paw paws wet! :)  We'd go for walks and if there were puddles..she'd halt and pull back and make us take her around them.  So cute.  She became a total princess once we brought her inside.  She was instantly potty trained....don't know how that happened!?  I guess she was just smart.  She was also stubborn.  She was a dog of routine and you followed it by golly or she'd just go on without you! lol 

These are just a couple things I thought I'd share that I've been thinking about today about our Brandy girl.  I'm sure as I get on here more-I'll share more.  There are so many memories and I feel so blessed to have had her in our lives.  Thank you to those silly people who didn't keep her.....she was the best out of the litter! 

I'm trying my hardest not to be depressing.... right now...since it's so soon...I'm really struggling.  It doesn't help that I'm on vacation this week and has lots of time to think and be lonely without her!  I panicked today as I thought that I had lost her lock of hair I took off of her after she had passed.  We couldn't find that baggie anywhere!  But I did....find it.  After a major panic and breakdown. 

Well, those are my going's on for today!  Thinkin' of my precious, forever in my heart, Brandy girl.....

Keep on going on!
~Aim

Greetings!

Hello there my fellow bloggers!  This is something new for me.  I used to blog in "Yahoo 360 land" but haven't had an outlet since.  I truly believe that blogging, or putting your words down somewhere is extremely therapeutic and allows people into your life. 

I'll begin by sharing a bit about myself in case we're just meeting.  My name is Amy.  People usually call me, "Aim".  My brother Dan however, has special privileges to call me "AC".  lol  I come from a divorced home, raised by my single Mother-who I might say so myself did a fantastic job!  She had to endure a lot and I put her through a lot, but we made it.  I have 3 brothers on my "Mom's side" I call it...Dan, Rick, and Chris.  On my "Dad's side" (note: I do not really know any of them, sadly) I have 6 brothers.....Randy, Chuck, Robin, Barry, Brian, and Darren.  My brother Barry has unfortunately passed away at a very young age.  That would be a total of 9 brothers.  Yes I am the only girl out of both parents.  My dad left when I was about 4 years old?  Not sure on that though..around there anyway. 

I grew up (physically-lol) and married my best friend, Mike.  We've known each other since I was 5 years old.  My Aunt and Uncle were very good friends with his Mom and Dad.  All of Mike's parents families live in Southern Illinois, so they always came to our Holiday picnics and such.  Then of course, I'd see him here and there throughout life...at the Morris pool...then in high school, he attended Grundy Area Vocational Center during the same time block as me.  He was a big teaser/joker.  Still is.  One of the main reasons I love him so much-you need laughter in your life!  We began dating after my cousin Erica, (my Aunt and Uncle that Mikes parents were friends withs daughter) got married and the whole family attended the wedding...except Mike.  He was visiting family in S Illinois and drowning in his sorrows over the end of a previous relationship.  When he returned from his trip, he was informed that I was at the wedding without a date and so it began.  He called me, we hit it off right away, and we went out on our first date, August 20, 1993 and never looked back.  We dated for 5 years, were engaged for 2 1/2 years, and were married, October 10, 1998.  Best day of my life!  It was absolutely beautiful!   Mike had saved for a down payment on a house...so we had purchased a house a few months prior to our wedding together...he also had gotten a dog a couple months prior to our wedding...our family was all set! 

Our dog, "princess" and "spoiled rotten" Brandy, was a beautiful red/cinnamon coated Chow Chow.  Mike got her for FREE from a neighbor.  Poor girl had been passed between a couple owners and was only a year and 1/2 old.  It was definitely an answered prayer because she fit right in with us!  She has recently passed, Friday, October, 8, 2010.  She was 14.  She lived a very happy life (we think..) and we enjoyed her companionship, dictatorship (haha-she ran the show around our house!) , and funny antics very much! 

We also have been told we cannot...I cannot...bear children.  We got pregnant in 2002 and had a miscarriage at 7 weeks.  We went through lots of obviously unsuccessful fertility treatments and now have decided it's all in God's hands.  Whatever His will may be.

Which brings me to who I really am.  I am a Christian.  I believe...wait, I know that I know, that I know...I am saved by grace through faith in Christ.  I will spend my eternity in Heaven.  My Savior, Jesus Christ, died on the cross for my/your sins so that I/you could have this "eternal life" in Heaven.  Being a Christian, I'm certainly by any means NOT perfect.  I make mistakes, I sin...BUT I have forgiveness and mercy and grace and the Holy Spirit, Who has been sent to dwell inside me by Jesus Christ until His return, to guide me and convict me and change me to be more like Him and to share Him with others..so YOU can have this too.  Without Him, I don't know how I would EVER have gotten through my miscarriage...the loss of our beloved Brandy...and just everyday disappointments and struggles.  He died for me, so I should live for Him! 

That about sums me up for now.  I will be back.  This has helped already!  Yay!  I look forward to meeting some great new friends! 

Thanks for reading my "going's on"......

Keep on goin' on!

~Aim